A Dangerous Equation
Do you want to know what keeps MOST people from embracing structure in their lives? A dangerous equation that connects two things that in reality are NOT connected at all. It looks like this.
My Performance = My Value
Applied to structure, it looks something like this…if I follow this (often newly instituted) structure perfectly, I am a SUCCESS. If I don’t, I am a FAILURE.
If I go to the gym five days a week, I am a success.
If I follow this new budget tracking our finances, I am a success.
If I check all of the things off my daily to-do list, I am a success.
I succeed = I am a success.
The reason this connection is so dangerous is that then the converse truth is also true.
If I skip a day at the gym, I am a failure.
If I spend money on something not in the budget, I am a failure.
If I don’t check all of the things off my daily to-do list, I am a failure.
I fail = I am a failure.
When we connect the very essence of our value to our performance in any way, we are treading in dangerous territory. When these two (value and performance) are tied together, we cannot create. We can truly become paralyzed by this connection. It’s as if our hands are clasped together in a tight prayer posture, unable to move. How can I create with my hands stuck together so tightly? It’s paralyzing.
I won’t take chances.
I won’t try new things.
I won’t play around with possible variations of a plan.
I won’t put myself in the space of rejection.
I definitely will not embrace any type of structure.
You don’t have a chance against that thought habit. What would it look like to separate your value from your performance? What if you lived in the truth of this equation?
I am = I am valuable.
I am; therefore, I am valuable.
Nothing I do or don’t do can lessen my value.
I am. I am valuable.
THEN, and only then, when your value is not dependent on your performance, can you embrace structure from a space of freedom and ease. Your hands are separated and you can MOVE and build things and create what you were created to create. It’s quite simple actually.
You are; therefore, you are valuable.
Live in that.