Have you lost touch with your intuition? I think I know why.
One of the things I know for sure about boundaries: You can’t push down or stifle your intuition in one area of life, and then expect to have access to it in another.
When our boundaries are repeatedly violated by people in our lives, and we stay in the unhealthy situation for a long time, we learn to stifle our intuition in order to justify the inappropriate breach. We have to make the mistreatment or crossed boundary okay, so we squelch that little voice inside of us that says, “This doesn’t feel right. I don’t like this.”
Very important side note—I say this with a great deal of tenderness, compassion and empathy, not judgment. Sometimes we stay in situations for reasons of survival or because we truly are powerless to leave the situation!
Here’s what this “intuition stifling” can sound like—do any of them sound familiar to you?
“Working 12-hour days every week doesn’t feel sustainable and leaves me with no energy for my family at home, but I just got promoted, the entire leadership team works at this pace and I don’t want to fall behind or not pull my weight.”
“I don’t think my mom should be telling me this about my dad, but she seems to need me, and she is my mom.”
“I don’t like when he makes crass jokes about women, but everyone at the meeting laughs like it’s no big deal so I’m just going to laugh too.”
“I really don’t want a glass of wine because it gives me a headache, but everyone else is drinking, so I’ll just have one to fit in.”
“My dad’s presence in my home doesn’t feel safe. He drinks too much and when he does, he gets loud and domineering. However, he and my husband love to watch football together and I don’t want to take that time together away from either of them.”
“I don’t like the tone of voice that employee uses, but she is the only one on our team who has the skill of [fill in the blank], and we cannot afford to lose her, so I guess I’ll just take it.”
“I am swamped with the amount of work I have already been assigned, but when the big boss asks, you just have to say yes.”
Do you hear it? Stifle, justify, BUT, BUT, BUT. My gut says one thing, BUT maybe I’m wrong? Maybe I just shouldn’t pay attention? The needs of others are more important than my own. Push that feeling down. Throw it to the side. Ignore it.
This constant stifling causes us to stop listening to that gut feeling, that intuitive feeling that says, “This doesn’t feel good to me. This is not okay. I don’t like this.” When we lose touch with that physical feeling, boundaries become exceedingly difficult to navigate and we often allow others to determine what is okay and isn’t in their treatment of us.
We also lose access to our intuition in creating boundaries in all areas of our lives—in our relationships with family and friends, in our interactions with our health (exercise, food, drink, etc), in our balance between work and our goals and the rest of our lives.
If this post is not sitting well with you, if I’ve struck a chord, I have a heartfelt invitation to you to reach out to me and see how we might work together to help your intuition shine.